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I am not restless and I walk back and forth. If I’m with someone right now I know her eyes will hurt and she’ll be dizzy watching me. I’ve been waiting for him for a while but he took a long time to come.

When I got tired of what I was doing I just sat on the couch but I immediately stood up when the front door opened and he came inside.

“Where have you been?” I asked my husband when he came home late. Yes, he’s the one I’ve been waiting for.

It was already 2:03 in the morning and only now did he think about going home. There is nothing new in what he is doing. I was even coming home earlier than him who had just come from their school and I was still from work.

His face was devoid of any emotion and looked at me as if it was something insignificant. He didn’t answer me either and just kept walking.

“Lazel Hyrroz,” I said her name firmly and coldly. I followed him until we entered his room.

He unbuttoned his uniform after collapsing, dropping his backpack on the bed.

“I’m tired. Don’t bother me now,” he told me coldly without looking at me.

“That’s why I’m asking you why you’re here now and where did you go to come home at this hour?” I asked strictly.

He completely took off his white polo shirt and left only the shirt he was wearing.

“You know? You play so many roles in my life,” he mockingly promised and faced me. His face was still emotionless and he didn’t change the way he looked at me, as if he could see my soul as well. “You are no longer just a mother, sister and brother. Now, your role is that of a strict father who waited for his own son who didn’t come home last night but only now thought of going home,” he added at length and even grinned.

“You’ve grown up, Lazel Hyrroz. Even if you are no longer in the power of your parents, remember that there is one more person who will worry about you,” I stated the fact.

“You? Are you the person who will worry about me? I’m just your wife on paper and I didn’t ask you to worry about me. I told you from the very beginning not to interfere with me and I will do the same to you,” he promised firmly. That’s how he really is. His heart is so hard and he really doesn’t care about me or even my feelings.

“Lazel Hyrroz…”

“If you have nothing more to say, go out, Grandma?” he said with an insult in his voice. This time he called me Lola.

I just sighed because of his bad behavior and his bad treatment of me.

I turned back when he finally took off his white shirt.

“You’ve already seen my body, so why are you still avoiding me? You liked what we did last night, didn’t you? You took advantage of me while I was out of my mind and drunk,” he insulted me and it was as if those words just slapped me. My chest rose and fell violently because of my shortness of breath.

“Before you go to sleep, take a shower or wash your body and if you haven’t eaten, just heat up the food I cooked earlier,” I said and I heard her loud chuckle again and the bed moving, a sign that he sat there.

“Yes, Manang.” I closed my eyes tightly because of him calling me.

I went to the door of his room and closed it softly. I stopped for a moment in front of the door and leaned. The corners of my eyes are burning and I feel like crying. Heavy in the chest. Is that why he just came home now? Because in over a year something happened to us only once? We were both drunk and I don’t even remember what we did.

I’m really asking myself. How long will we be like this, Lazel Hyrroz?

When I wake up every morning, my uniform is neatly ironed on the sofa bed. Even my black shoes are ready.

In the kitchen, there is food already prepared and there is a sticky note on the fridge. I took it and read what was written. His penmanship is neat and beautiful. Even so, I still don’t like it.

“Don’t forget to eat your breakfast before you go to school, Lazel Hyrroz.”

Calysta

After I read that I crumpled the paper and threw it in the trashbin. I opened the fridge and got cold water. I opened the lid and took out the contents.

I even looked at the breakfast that was ready on the table but like I often do, I didn’t touch it and I didn’t even eat.

I entered the university with an empty stomach. It’s okay, Hanemira often makes fun of me. So I only eat my breakfast at school.

“You didn’t have breakfast again, did you?” I just smiled at his question and smiled slowly. At the same time he held my hand and gave me the spoon. “I still cooked that.” His cooking was not that good but I still appreciated it. Because…she’s the only girl I want.

When I got home, I expected to find him sitting in the living room. He was drinking coffee and busy with his laptop again.

“You didn’t eat your breakfast again. You didn’t even touch them,” he told me. The corners of my lips rose. As long as he always said that to me, I memorized those words.

“Who told you to cook my breakfast?” I asked him and I heard him sigh again.

In fact, I have no feelings for him. I don’t like her and I will never love a woman